Monday, March 31, 2008



Versus channel BLEEPs. It just does. I have had it since it was the Outdoor Life channel, and it's still no better. When not playing hockey, they are HORRID.....terrible unknown MMA matches or a one ton bull jumping around (because he has a guy in a cowboy hat on his back and a cinch around his nuts).

When Versus does play hockey, you realize quickly that they shouldn't. They are stuck in time..I'm guessing by the haircuts and studio design...back in 1986 Edmonton? Hard to say. But when I am made King, I promise to force Versus to hire the best hair stylist in the realm. Sadly, Brian Engblom is beyond hope.

Avery was a no-show yesterday....maybe he was called for hooking. (HAHAHAHA! sorry)Hopefully it will be a double-minor and he won't show tonight either.

Crosby Dupuis Hossa=awesome

Malkin is ok, got a good scare, see how he reacts. He is still only five behind ol A.O. Possible to catch him? yes Likely? no I wish him luck. Nothing would rub ol' Alex the wrong way more than having the first Russian to win the scoring title be a guy named Evgeni. Oh I wish.

The division is clinchable with a win. Is 'clinchable' a word? Who the hell cares.
Go Pens!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Rangers VS. Pens Sunday NBC..Be There

Awesome. This will a good time. Thanks to Pensblog, also..I don't know how I missed it. My least favorite Ranger has a bit of a problem.

Apparently, he's an ass on AND off the ice..needing to pay women to even be near him.
Too good.

Go Pens!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I can't wait....I'll get to see this one in high def.
Rangers have cooled off a little, but still running on high octane.
Avery vs. Ruutu again..maybe Ruutu can out-agitate Sean for once. He's past due.
I would like to personally send the Sabres a big "CHOKERS!" for letting the Habs leapfrog the Pens last night. I will always cut them some slack because, just like the Flyers, the Sabres don't have Danny Briere showing up for big games.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Revenge is best served cold

Great Game tonite. 3-1 Pens.

Why Oh Why didn't Ruu or Laraque go for the Gordie Howe hat trick?

They both had the goal and the assist out of the way..and the Isles were crying for an ass whipping. I understand playing hard even if you are out of it..but cheap shotting is NOT the answer. Go back to the landfill that is Long Island.
And why Hossa?
Pricks. They think that being the #3 star on the Pens roster, they can hit him and not get slapped?? Well, guess what..they did and they got away with it. Better hope that future opponents don't follow that game plan.
Anyway..lets not lose sight of the big picture......

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sleeping With The Enemy

The nice usher lady was sweet enough to photograph this rare smiley-faced Emu at the Prudential Center. In the wild, they can be recognized by their "WWGRD" shirt. (that is 'What Would Gary Roberts Do'..thanks to my brother and PensBlog!)
Shortly after this photo was taken, I settled into my seat, and tried to blend in with the Newark Natives. After five minutes, I joined the half-full arena in a 2 hour long, Devil's Hockey-induced nap. If Steven Wright had played hockey instead of being a comedian, he would have played in New Jersey. Dryer than a popcorn fart..this game was DULL.
But you know...when I was awakened 140 minutes later..the Pens were still in first place over the Devils, and have a playoff spot clinched. I yawned, scratched myself, and rejoiced in my own silent little way

Monday, March 24, 2008

Duck the Fevils!
episode II
The Rebel Alliance, inspired by their surprise rout of the Devil Empire on Saturday,
have amassed their remaining forces on the outskirts
of Newark NJ
Despite the smell, the morale of the rebel forces remains high.
Led by a young Jedi, Evgeni Malkin, the rebel forces prepare to sweep into The Rock and sink as many pucks as possible into a small exhaust port that is only 2 meters wide.
May the Force be With You Geno.

Special Appearance: Danielle Briere as Yoda

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter! The Bunny Left First Place in Our Basket!

Who knew it was the Devils that laid the eggs for him?

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Duck the Fevils!

This game is now officially HUGE. This is awesome. In light of the pair of games coming up against the Devils..I am declaring war. The gloves are off. My sleeves are rolled up. Better call the vetranarian..cuz these pythons are SICK!
I work on the road..and a while back I was near Newark NJ on a night the Pens were in town. I went. Pens won. It rocked. 35 bucks for a good seat above Marty's net. Nice. new arena, beautiful. They had the Devil logo pasted everywhere. I thought it was overkill.(just wait) The crowd was electric. If there had been just one more fan there, we would have had enough people to field a softball team. Seriously..EMPTY. Sad sad sad. I bet 1/4 were Pens fans like me.
Anyhow..after a few too many beerses, I head to the latrine. Guess what I find when I saunter up to the ol urinal?

Slightly looped, I started laughing. Too much. It certainly made what I was doing all the more symbolic and enjoyable.
(by the way..if you ever get the chance to whip out a camera and take a shot like this while in a busy mens room...expect more than a few odd looks and comments. FYI)
Anyway..Duck the Fevils. Go Pens.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Good Friday!

This is a Good day. Good win last night. Good game tomorrow. Good soccer technique from Ruutu. Good good good.

Now the Bad. Bad effort last night for the first period and a half. Badass soccer technique from Ruutu. Bad bad bad.

You realize if Talbot (I think?) had scored on that kick-pass from Jarkko..that would be the goal of the season on every NHL highlight reel for 07'/08'?
Jarkko frigging Ruutu. Hah.
I think he was inspired the other night by his counterpart agitator, Sean Avery. Avery is a fairly good hockey player, but his other skills set him apart. Otherwise he's just a solid second liner you have never heard of. I posted elsewhere that he's a better Ruutu than Jarkko is.
J.R. has more fun, though, and that's why we love him.

Some boob in the scheduling office decided to be cute. The Pens and Devils play twice in the next four days. Each game, the visitor is coming off of a game the night before. Thats all fine and fair...except that the Devils have one day off, today, before the first game..but the Devils have Sunday and Monday off before they host the Pens Tuesday. Go look up the teams' schedule this week and next and you will see how tiring the Pens have it over the Devils. In the eight days leading up to that Tuesday game, the Pens will have played 5 games, including the night before.. the Devils 3 games, and have just had a two day break.

Whining and nitpicking? oh ya I am. But these two games against them are very important. Could mean the difference between playing Buffalo in round one, or playing the Rangers. Flyers or Ottawa. Home ice or visitor. I'm gonna fuss and whine.

Think Big George is going to be a healthy scratch or has Coach T cooled off at him?
Have a good Easter weekend.

Dear Easter Bunny,
Please bring Hossa a new wristwatch for Easter, he can't tell time yet and needs to learn.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Monday Funday for Pens Fans

Pens 7 Flyers 1 Hot Diggity.
Ten games..six days..five of them against division teams..this is BIG.
As Mike Lang would tell you.."Get in the car, Grandma, we're goin' bowling!"
Geno keeps creeping up on Alex O. like a pair of silk boxers. The points race is as close for those two as it gets. If you missed that ridiculous no-look over-the-shoulder backhand goal of Malkin's missed a doozie. Four point game..rock solid. 4th in goals, 4th in assists..balanced superstar.
Hossa blended in and looked MUCH more at home than that first game of his that he got hurt in. Was a good scene. Dupuis..awesome. Who the hell knew?
With Sid out so long..and the NHL trying to promote itself so much..I think I finally understand why the rest of the world hates to hear about Crosby. By that, I mean..I have XM radio's Home Ice channel and the NHL channel on Direct TV.. and to fill Sid's is ALL OVECHKIN ALL THE TIME. They ran a 6 hour.. SIX show on Ovechkin yesterday on the NHL channel. All I wanted was the highlights for the day..but I got six hours of Alex shooting, scoring, hitting, passing, blinking, yawning, talking, staring, farting, and breathing.
The guy is great, but c'mon. He's everywhere.commercials, talk shows, promos.. I'VE HAD ALEX OVECHKIN SHOVED SO FAR DOWN MY THROAT THAT MY PROCTOLOGIST GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH!
Maybe that's how the rest of the league's fanbase feels about Sid when he's hot. I feel their pain now. I don't like it, but I feel it. Hope Sid gets back soon to put it back on the rest of the league and off of me. Is that selfish?